I laid in bed next to my snoring husband.

But the snoring wasn’t keeping me awake.

It was white hot anger.

Deep frustration and a terrible sadness.

And Nathan Graham, a YouTuber who was ‘what the flip’ing his way through a round of Minecraft.

We were ‘glamping’, three of us lying in a dome tent set up in the middle of a beautiful Tasmanian vineyard.

All was quiet – except for Nathan and my husband’s fitful snores.

The trip had been a gift from my husband for Mother’s Day.

At the last minute we’d decided to take our son.

We were going through a rough year, you know the drill – school can’t, meltdowns, egg shells.

We didn’t feel we could leave him with anyone in such a state of dysregulation.

And he’d always liked novelty so we thought this might be right up his alley.

We’d take boardgames (a favourite pastime for him) and nice food and have an adventure, no siblings, just us and our undivided attention.

The trip there was fine.

He sat in the front – yes for control but also his genuine fascination with traffic and infrastructure.

But he was edgy from the moment we arrived, insisting we play Monopoly the moment we entered the dome.

We made the mistake of saying ‘soon’ instead of ‘sure’.

We just wanted to unload the car.

As our son’s volume intensified, I told him I’d only grab one more thing then sit down to play.

Unbeknownst to me, my husband followed.

That’s when the door to the dome slammed shut and we heard a lock turn.

Our key was inside.

We were locked out.

If you’ve been here before, you know nothing was going to get this kid back to safety soon.

But we tried anyway – bribes, warnings, threats to get the manager.

We started the car, but even if he believed we’d leave, his current response (flight? fight?) overrode everything.

In the end, we just waited it out – taking turns to walk around the property, sitting and looking at the view.

I can’t remember how we got back in – did he let us or did we call for a spare key?

All I remember is ending up lying on my Mother’s Day glamping trip in bed staring at the ceiling at 1am as I listened to YouTube play loudly on my phone.

We had limited screentime for most of his childhood but now he was in charge.

And so he was fixated, making little sounds that indicated he was drinking the content in thirstily.

I know a lot more now about PDA and have a better idea of what he might have been going through back then.

But at that time I felt furious, cheated (out of a holiday and a normal life).

We left feeling drained and defeated, eyes red and tired.

It was the worst of times.

But at least he enjoyed the drive home.